Everybody Has a Wound to be Healed

 

I.AM.HEALING...

In many ways it made perfect sense:  I have some wounds, and they’re still healing.  My healing is, well, a PROCESS.

proc·ess¹

A series of actions, changes, or functions bringing about a result.   

Scars are external, but they’re also internal.  My internal wounds are still pretty raw.  Blood trickles from these wounds.  Hurtful people make them bleed. Words make them sting, and mean actions tear them open.  Rehashing the hurt turns my mind into a pendulum swinging between stable and irrational. 

I think, “When will I heal?!  When will this pain stop?!”

My inner reasoning retorts, “Unfortunately, there is no concrete answer to this question. Scar healing times vary.  The length of time it takes a scar to heal depends on how much tissue was damaged, the age of the person and the location of the injury, all of which require patience on your part.” 

“I get it - healing isn’t some generic process.  It’s individualized, and healing times vary.  Then there’s that very important word: patience.  Good things come to those who wait.  And, I wait because healing is a process.  But, sometimes it can be ugly.”

“Scars are typically ugly as they go into the healing process.  Scars start out looking angry, thick and red.”

I remember the day I told my family about my rape.  Weeks before my counselor and I had talked about if I was ready.  I wondered and waited, thinking about the point I was at in my healing process.  One day I decided, “I’m ready!  Yes – I’m really ready!”  So, I sat down and wrote an email.  But, the tug of war hadn’t relented and those voices in my head fought back, “No…this will be too painful for them.  What will they think and say when they read your email?”

 

That email sat for several more weeks.  And then a day in April came.  That was the day I was going to hit ‘Send’.  I needed to hit ‘Send’!  My wound was ready to scab over – to move to the next step in the process.

 

You see, I had been wounded for nearly ten years.  A cold January night in Denver, Colorado, changed my life forever.  My job took me out West with some coworkers.  That night we drank too much.  At some point, I woke up in a room with a man I barely knew.  He threw me on the bed and raped me.  I tried to get him off, but the effects of the alcohol and his bigger posture made it impossible.  When he was done, he threw my clothes at me and shoved me out the door.  Hitting the wall, I lay in a heap in a hotel hallway wondering how a successful woman in her twenties had just become a rape victim.  Nothing made sense at that point in time! 

 

Because of the pain, I drank heavily for months, which turned into years, until I had repressed any thought of Denver deep in my mind.  Nine and a half years later, while listening to a Christian podcast, that horrific moment burst out in full force into my awareness.  Months of therapy followed.  I was on a train I so badly wanted to stop riding.  Finally, on that day in April, the train came to a screeching halt.

 
I hit ‘Send’.  The calls came and the tears ran.  Those tears were like precious drops of healing rain!  Jesus wiped away every tear; He collected them one by one.  He held my hand, stroked my hair and whispered, “Shhhhh…it’s o.k.  I’m right here.  I know it’s not fair this happened to you.  But, I was there.  I saw you.  I will turn that night around and make it good.”  By the end of the day, I was exhausted and looked like I had been through a flu pandemic.  From the outside, that day was ugly, but something was happening.  My wound was slowly, ever so slowly, starting to heal…

Shortly after the calls from my family, the fog slowly began to lift and the epiphany came.  My mind drifted straight to Jesus.  He was God-made-human two thousand plus years ago.  He felt the same pain we suffer.  Physical pain and emotional pain left Him with many scars.  His scars followed Him to His death.  His most painful scars gave us life and ultimate healing.

 

“But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.”  Isaiah 53:5 (NIV)

 

By His wounds, we are healed.  Those words are like salve, penetrating deeply into my soul.  By HIS wounds, WE are healed!  We’ve all been hurt.  We all have our trophy scars, and we’re all yearning for healing.  The solution makes perfect sense!  Call out to Jesus and ask Him to heal us.  Jesus never delays, and He’ll regenerate your heart.  No, it’s true; some of your scars may never fully go away, but consider the words found in Galatians:

 

“From now on, don’t let anyone trouble me with these things. For I bear on my body the scars that show I belong to Jesus.”  Galatians 6:17 (NLT)

 

People can be cruel; they make bad choices, leaving us with pain.  Because we belong to Jesus, we will endure suffering.  These trials leave scars, each needing to go through the healing process.  No matter what we endure and no matter what scars we are given, we can find solace that we belong to Jesus.  He’s the ultimate Healer and can help us conquer life’s challenges.  Our scars will remain to remind us where we’ve been and what we’ve experienced.  In victory, we can cry out to Jesus and rise above the pain being ultimately healed! 

 

“Never be ashamed of the scars life has left you with.  A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed, you endured the pain and God has healed you.”  Anonymous


To the blogging world, I am 'Break of Dawn' due to the personal content of my blog.  I am in the process of revealing my true identity on Wordpress.com.  Watch for this reveal in the very near future.  Until then, I am a lover of Christ, wife, and mom who writes to bring healing.

 

 

 

Jesus Prays for All Believers

In my devotion time this morning, I came across a passage I had never really paid attention to before.  Did you know that right before Jesus was arrested He prayed for believers?  I’m sure I have read the passage before but, for some reason, it didn’t stick.  This morning, the fact that Jesus would pray for all believers right before he was arrested and put to death was such a blessing – literally a blessing!  Let Jesus’ prayer wash over you.  Take his words to heart and let them spur you on in your walk of faith!  God Bless~Break of Dawn

 

John 17:20-26

Jesus Prays for All Believers

²⁰ “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, ²¹ that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. ²² I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— ²³ I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.

²⁴ “Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world.

²⁵ “Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. ²⁶ I have made you^[a] known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.”

A Call for Healing and Hope and Affirming the Mission

I began my blog as a way to continue the healing process from my rape and to encourage others who need healing.  The life verse I’m claiming for Break of Dawn is Isaiah 58:8 and it says,  “Then your light will break forth like the dawn and your healing will quickly appear…”.  And, during the last couple of years of writing, I’ve posed the question several times:  what do we need healing from?  We need healing from our sins, our past hurts, our addictions.  We need healing from our thoughts, from the stresses of daily life or from physical problems such as cancer.  This verse starts with a conjunction, the word “then”, which means it ties together two parts.  Read Isaiah 58 and see if you can identify what verse 8 is tying together:

Isaiah 58

 “Shout it aloud, do not hold back.
    Raise your voice like a trumpet.
Declare to my people their rebellion
    and to the descendants of Jacob their sins.
² For day after day they seek me out;
    they seem eager to know my ways,
as if they were a nation that does what is right
    and has not forsaken the commands of its God.
They ask me for just decisions
    and seem eager for God to come near them.
³ ‘Why have we fasted,’ they say,
    ‘and you have not seen it?
Why have we humbled ourselves,
    and you have not noticed?’

“Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please
    and exploit all your workers.
⁴ Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife,
    and in striking each other with wicked fists.
You cannot fast as you do today
    and expect your voice to be heard on high.
⁵ Is this the kind of fast I have chosen,
    only a day for people to humble themselves?
Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed
    and for lying in sackcloth and ashes?
Is that what you call a fast,
    a day acceptable to the Lord?

⁶ “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
    and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
    and break every yoke?
⁷ Is it not to share your food with the hungry
    and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
    and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
⁸ Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
    and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness^[a] will go before you,
    and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.
⁹ Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
    you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

“If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
    with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
¹⁰ and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
    and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
    and your night will become like the noonday.
¹¹ The Lord will guide you always;
    he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
    and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
    like a spring whose waters never fail.
¹² Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
    and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
    Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

¹³ “If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath
    and from doing as you please on my holy day,
if you call the Sabbath a delight
    and the Lord’s holy day honorable,
and if you honor it by not going your own way
    and not doing as you please or speaking idle words,
¹⁴ then you will find your joy in the Lord,
    and I will cause you to ride in triumph on the heights of the land
    and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob.”
For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.

Did you catch it?  What is the word “then” tying together?  In short, this chapter is talking about proper fasting and turning from our wicked ways.  Then, our healing will quickly appear.  Here’s the reality:  Life is hard and full of adversity.  That adversity, no matter how big or small, can leave us with scars.  And, the farther we are from Christ, the bigger the scars and consequences.  It hurts when you have a gaping wound.  Don’t you want the healing touch that only Jesus can give?  Do you see your friends and family members who are in need of some hope?

For the past year, Billy Graham has been promoting a revival called “Hope for America”.  You can find out more information at http://myhopewithbillygraham.org/  Even though this nation-wide movement concluded on Nov. 7^th, you can still continue it.  Go to the website to order a FREE DVD where you can watch the sermon and learn how to evangelize to people right in your own neighborhood and family circle.  Because each and every day of our lives, we all need healing and hope.  Without sounding ungrateful or pessimistic, we need to get our heads out of the pit of denial about the state of this country and our state as humans.  WE-NEED-JESUS!  We need to admit that each and every day we deserve to die, to be sent straight to hell to live eternally separated from God.  The more we sugar-coat our sins (or in our minds the lack thereof), the farther away our healing gets.  We need to humble ourselves, fast and pray for a revival in our homes and this country.  Each generation grows farther and farther away from God.  Why are we as Christians, the lights of this world, sitting by and letting it happen?  Are you o.k. with your kids or grandkids growing up in a God-less country?  I’m not and I refuse to sit here and watch it happen because I’m too busy, too scared, too tired, or any other excuse we like to use!  Our mission field is great and includes our children, our spouses, our co-workers, our friends, our neighbors, and ALL people across the world.  In any given day, you have the opportunity to fill at least one person with the eternal hope of Christ!

Keep it simple:  Pray, fast, turn from your wicked ways.  Then, obey the command (commands aren't optional) Christ himself gave us in Matthew 28:  “¹⁹ Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰ and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

 

Thank you, Jesus!  Give me your healing.  Fill me with your hope.  Help me to share that hope with others.

 

God Bless,

Break of Dawn

Being Different

If you’ve been wondering where I’ve been, I’m still alive!  ;)  Life has been absolutely swamped since about mid-Jan.  I ended up taking a long-term substitute teaching job at our area high school in the English Department in Feb. and Mar. where I had the opportunity to teach 10^th and 11^th graders for six weeks.   About two weeks before it started and for about two weeks after it ended, I was immersed in pre- and –post work related to that position.  It was very intense and added a lot of insight into the world of fulltime teachers.  Each one of them deserves an award for the HOURS of work, both at school and after hours, that they put in to educate our children.  After my long-term job ended, it took me close to three weeks to “catch” up or for life to return to “normal”.  At the present moment, I’m finishing up my third year as a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) Coordinator and then anticipating summer vacation.  Trust me – it can’t come soon enough!

As a result of that long-term sub job and the other commitments I’ve had this school-year, I haven’t been able to post on my blog as much as I normally would have.  My writing itch has been, well, itching and I can’t hold off any longer!

Since it’s been so long, I had to make the big decision of what I would write about after so many months of not posting.  I have several topics I plan on writing about, so you can look forward to those in the future. 

The other night, our sweet seven-year old girl, came to us at bedtime.  She had already been out at least five times.  You know the nights…  All you want to do is let your mind go blank and veg out on the couch and your dear little ones keep coming out with every excuse possible.  “Mommy, I’m thirsty”, “I need to go potty” {even though they just went ten minutes ago} “I can’t sleep” “Can you read me another story” and so on.  Our daughter has had years of sleeping issues, so we’re used to drawn-out bedtimes.  This night, however, I could tell something was different.  After the fifth time, I finally asked if something was bothering her.  She came over, knelt down on the floor, and said “Yes” in a soft voice. 

She proceeded to tell us that some of the girls at school were hurting her feelings. { Oh, sweet one, how I could relate!}   As we chatted and worked through her worries one by one, I could see the weight lifting.  After a moment of silence and, as I stroked her back, she added quietly that she didn’t like being “different”.  Hmmm…different…   Already we were dealing with the heaviness of noticing that she wasn’t acting the same way as her other classmates, reading the same books, watching the same movies, participating in the same activities.  She was different…

Haven’t we all felt different at one time or another?!

The first weekend in March, I attended a wonderful conference called “Set Apart”.  The conference name speaks directly to the point I tried to make to our sweet one after her authentic confession.  As Christians, we’re SET APART.  We’re supposed to be different.  We shouldn’t be talking the same way as the world, acting the same way, doing the same things.  

 

Leviticus 20:26

“You are to be holy to me because I, the Lord, am holy, and I have set you apart from the nations to be my own.”

Psalm 4:3

“Know that the Lord has set apart his faithful servant for himself…”

Jeremiah 1:5

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…”

 

 

 

We are SET APART and CHOSEN to shine as lights in this dark world!  Instead of feeling ashamed or beaten down, let’s embrace our uniqueness and bring glory to God!  Just like royalty act a certain way, we are called to act like the chosen sons and daughters of the King – princes and princesses – that we are!

1 Peter 2:9

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”

 

Until next time, God Bless!

Break of Dawn

Everybody Has a Wound to Heal

In many ways it made perfect sense…  I have some wounds, and they’re still healing.  My healing is, well, a PROCESS.

proc·ess¹

A series of actions, changes, or functions bringing about a result.   

Scars are external, but they’re also internal.  My internal wounds are still pretty raw.  Blood trickles from these wounds.  Hurtful people make them bleed. Words make them sting, and mean actions tear them open.  Rehashing the hurt turns my mind into a pendulum swinging between stable and irrational. 

I think, “When will I heal?!  When will this pain stop?!”

My inner reasoning retorts, “Unfortunately, there is no concrete answer to this question. Scar healing times vary.  The length of time it takes a scar to heal depends on how much tissue was damaged, the age of the person and the location of the injury, all of which require patience on your part.” 

“I get it - healing isn’t some generic process.  It’s individualized, and healing times vary.  Then there’s that very important word: patience.  Good things come to those who wait.  And, I wait because healing is a process.  But, sometimes it can be ugly.”

“Scars are typically ugly as they go into the healing process.  Scars start out looking angry, thick and red.”

I remember the day I told my family about my rape.  Weeks before my counselor and I had talked about if I was ready.  I wondered and waited, thinking about the point I was at in my healing process.  One day I decided, “I’m ready!  Yes – I’m really ready!”  So, I sat down and wrote an email.  But, the tug of war hadn’t relented and those voices in my head fought back, “No…this will be too painful for them.  What will they think and say when they read your email?”

 

That email sat for several more weeks.  And then a day in April came.  That was the day I was going to hit ‘Send’.  I needed to hit ‘Send’!  My wound was ready to scab over – to move to the next step in the process.

 

You see, I had been wounded for nearly ten years.  A cold January night in Denver, Colorado, changed my life forever.  My job took me out West with some coworkers.  That night we drank too much.  At some point, I woke up in a room with a man I barely knew.  He threw me on the bed and raped me.  I tried to get him off, but the effects of the alcohol and his bigger posture made it impossible.  When he was done, he threw my clothes at me and shoved me out the door.  Hitting the wall, I lay in a heap in a hotel hallway wondering how a successful woman in her twenties had just become a rape victim.  Nothing made sense at that point in time! 

 

Because of the pain, I drank heavily for months, which turned into years, until I had repressed any thought of Denver deep in my mind.  Nine and a half years later, while listening to a Christian podcast, that horrific moment burst out in full force into my awareness.  Months of therapy followed.  I was on a train I so badly wanted to stop riding.  Finally, on that day in April, the train came to a screeching halt.

 
I hit ‘Send’.  The calls came and the tears ran.  Those tears were like precious drops of healing rain!  Jesus wiped away every tear; He collected them one by one.  He held my hand, stroked my hair and whispered, “Shhhhh…it’s o.k.  I’m right here.  I know it’s not fair this happened to you.  But, I was there.  I saw you.  I will turn that night around and make it good.”  By the end of the day, I was exhausted and looked like I had been through a flu pandemic.  From the outside, that day was ugly, but something was happening.  My wound was slowly, ever so slowly, starting to heal…

Shortly after the calls from my family, the fog slowly began to lift and the epiphany came.  My mind drifted straight to Jesus.  He was God-made-human two thousand plus years ago.  He felt the same pain we suffer.  Physical pain and emotional pain left Him with many scars.  His scars followed Him to His death.  His most painful scars gave us life and ultimate healing.

 

“But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.”  Isaiah 53:5 (NIV)

 

By His wounds, we are healed.  Those words are like salve, penetrating deeply into my soul.  By HIS wounds, WE are healed!  We’ve all been hurt.  We all have our trophy scars, and we’re all yearning for healing.  The solution makes perfect sense!  Call out to Jesus and ask Him to heal us.  Jesus never delays, and He’ll regenerate your heart.  No, it’s true; some of your scars may never fully go away, but consider the words found in Galatians:

 

“From now on, don’t let anyone trouble me with these things. For I bear on my body the scars that show I belong to Jesus.”  Galatians 6:17 (NLT)

 

People can be cruel; they make bad choices, leaving us with pain.  Because we belong to Jesus, we will endure suffering.  These trials leave scars, each needing to go through the healing process.  No matter what we endure and no matter what scars we are given, we can find solace that we belong to Jesus.  He’s the ultimate Healer and can help us conquer life’s challenges.  Our scars will remain to remind us where we’ve been and what we’ve experienced.  In victory, we can cry out to Jesus and rise above the pain being ultimately healed! 

Check out Plumb's video:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ylnx0NA9X4

 When I began this blog, my primary purpose was to heal from my rape.  Writing is very therapeutic for me and through my writings, my prayer was that maybe someone else could find healing from the stresses of daily life or abuse.  I’m still on that path of healing but I’m that much closer to the Break of Dawn…  How close are you to the Break of Dawn?  Cry out to Jesus and He'll show you the most majestic dawn you've ever seen!  God Bless!

 

 

 

 

Deathbed Regrets

On my last post, I included an article that touched on the subject of regrets.  I continued to ponder ways to live a life of no regrets.  During my research, I came across an interesting article online:

 

 

Admitted on Their Deathbed: Top 5 Regrets

You know the old saying: When you are on your deathbed, you won't wish you had worked longer hours. But what will you wish you had done--or not done in your life?

A palliative care nurse--that is someone who cares for the dying--has listened to a lot of patients who have come to the end of their days. "People grow a lot when faced with their own mortality," the anonymous nurse writes on EmpowerNetwork.com.

She says the emotional changes a dying person experiences are phenomenal, ranging from denial to remorse, fear to anger and eventually acceptance.

When she asked her dying patients if they had any regrets in their life, the answers were different, but common themes emerged again and again.

The top five regrets people have on their deathbed:

1. "I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."
We all have dreams, but real life tends to get in the way. Many of our unrealized ambitions are due to choices we made--or didn't make--along the way.
What can you do now? Honor your dreams while you still have good health and the freedom that brings.

2. "I wish I didn't work so hard."
This is an especially common regret among men, who realize far too late in life that they missed much of their children's youth and their wife's companionship.
What can you do now? While work and the money it brings are essential, there are ways to simplify your lifestyle so you don't have to spend as much time at work or in a job that is so demanding it takes time away from what matters most.

3. "I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings."
To keep the peace, it's often easier to keep quiet. That can mean not only settling for a mediocre existence and never truly becoming all of which you are capable of being, but also being filled with bitterness and resentment.
What can you do now? Be honest with yourself and others. Say what is on your mind. Be your authentic self.

4. "I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends."
Old friends are one of our greatest blessings. Losing track of them in the busyness of life is something that can cause you great regret later. In the final weeks of life what matters most is love and friendship.
What can you do now? Make time for your friends. You may discover it's more a matter of scheduling and time management than a true lack of time.

5. "I wish that I had let myself be happier."
Happiness is a choice, and it's something that many people don't realize until they are dying. Our fear of change can stymie our chance to grow and try new things.
What can you do now? Laugh! Invite silliness and fun into your life on a daily basis.

--From the Editors at Netscape

http://channels.isp.netscape.com/whatsnew/package.jsp?name=fte/deathbedregrets/deathbedregrets

 

Interesting to say the least!  After reading this list, what thoughts come to mind?  How can you make changes in your life?

Here’s another regret I’d like to add to the list and, on my list, this one would be FIRST:

1)      "I wish I would’ve accepted the gift of eternal life."

Many people never open the FREE gift that Christ has given them.  There are many reasons why they don’t, but in the end, it’s the ultimate regret.

What can you do now?  Accept Christ!  All you have to do is believe.

John 11:25

²⁵ Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; ²⁶ and whoever lives by believing in me will never die.”

John 3:16

¹⁶ For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

 

It’s that simple – all you have to do is believe and accept this FREE gift!  Once you receive Jesus, the Holy Spirit inhabits your heart and makes you a new creation. 

2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”

The Holy Spirit will help you change from the inside out and, in the end, you won’t have the ultimate regret.  You’ll inherit your eternal gift and live forever with Christ and the saints!!