If you’ve been keeping up on my blog, you already know that my life began with a lot of excitement … One night when I was only two months old, my chest started retracting every time I would breathe. My parents rushed me to the ER at Mayo Clinic. That night, the doctors found a strawberry birthmark tumor in my windpipe. From that point on, I spent the first year of my life, in and out of Mayo Clinic. During that time, I underwent several bronchoscopies, two laser surgeries and took massive amounts of medication, but I was still having a lot of breathing problems and the tumor kept coming back. In Mar. of 1981, my mom was really struggling. The doctors were talking about having to do a third laser surgery, which was very risky. To get away, mom and another sister visited yet another one of her sisters (she comes from a family of 15 siblings!). While we were there, mom and her sisters decided to take me to a revival. A woman put her hands on me and prayed that God would finally deliver me from my tumor. That day, on Mar. 17th, God healed me! A couple weeks later, the doctors couldn’t find any trace of the tumor – it was completely gone! What a wonderful experience my parents got to have! It’s also a faith-building story for me to treasure and pass on to our kids about how God answers prayers and can heal even when conditions look bleak.
My dad came from a very dysfunctional, un-churched family. He was, however, baptized and confirmed as a Lutheran. My mom was from a very Catholic family. When mom and dad got married, they went to both types of churches. After having my siblings and I, they decided to baptize me and then my brother as Lutherans and my younger sister as a Catholic. We continued going to both churches for several years - sometimes we’d go to the Lutheran church and sometimes we’d go to the Catholic church. When I was in second grade, we moved to a new town that had a Lutheran parochial school. My parents decided to send me and my siblings to it. So, mom converted into a Lutheran and both of my parents became members of a WELS Lutheran church. From that point, I grew up in a WELS Lutheran home. I attended the church’s school from 2nd – 8th grade, which gave me a lot of training in the Word. We did a lot of Scripture memorization and had a Christian curriculum. I continued to grow as a Christian into my teen years, even though this church didn’t have a youth group. My parents took the WELS foundation a little further and made sure that we had a personal relationship with Christ. I can’t remember a specific date that I gave my life to Christ during my childhood years, but I can tell you I was actively going to church, reading my devotions and the Bible, praying and walking with the Lord all the way through my H.S. graduation.
After I graduated, I entered UW-River Falls. Prior to going there, I prayed about where God wanted me to go to college. After visiting River Falls, God made it very clear that was where He wanted me to go. I couldn’t wait for my new adventure to begin! The whole summer before my freshman year, I made preparations and prayed constantly about finding good Christian friends while at college. God answered my prayers and sent me some wonderful Christian friends my first semester of college. There was a problem, though…my sinful nature was getting too curious about worldly things.
Most of first semester of college I hung out with my Christian friends and I attended a local Lutheran church on Sundays. But, being an extrovert, I knew several other people around campus and slowly I started attending parties and drinking. When I was with my Christian friends I’d act one way and when I was with my non-believing friends, I’d act another way. I was living two lives! I slowly started doing less and less with my Christian friends and more and more with my un-believing friends. By the end of my freshman year, I had crossed the line in many areas of my life and had thrown aside many of my beliefs. Somewhere by the end of my freshman year, I made a conscious decision that I didn’t want anything to do with God. I was sick of being the “perfect” firstborn, the high-achiever, the people-pleaser. I wanted to do whatever I wanted and to have fun while I was at college. Since God had all of His rules and none of them would allow me to live the fun, party-lifestyle at college, I reasoned that I wanted nothing to do with Him.
The remainder of my college years were spent partying and making very bad choices. If you would’ve asked me, I would’ve said I was having the time of my life. But, deep down I knew the things I was doing were wrong, so I dealt with a lot of guilt, which wasn’t fun at all.
During my sophomore year of college, my husband and I met. Both of us weren’t right with God and were both in the partying mode, so at the time, we were a perfect fit. We had a lot of other things we had in common, so in Nov. of 2000, we officially started dating. In June of 2004, we got married. Unfortunately, when we got married, we were still both living very spiritually reckless lives. In Oct. of 2004, we got pregnant with our daughter which was a huge surprise. Because of the medications I was on when I was a baby, the doctors told my parents I probably wouldn’t be able to have kids. So, we weren’t very careful and low and behold – we got pregnant only four months from being married!
Up until I got pregnant with our daughter, or during my six years away from God, I had a major drinking problem, I struggled mildly with anorexia and bulimia, and I didn’t live a sexually pure life, just to name a few struggles I dealt with. I had a horrible self-image and dealt with a lot of guilt. Several things amplified my drinking and most of my nights were a blurry mess, even though I had a fulltime job. Getting pregnant was a turning point in my life and, honestly, probably saved my life!
Somewhere during Nov. of 2004, I remember thinking about my lifestyle and saying there was no way I was going to bring a baby into this mess. I prayed a very short prayer, something to the effect of ‘God, help me!’. It was at that moment that I recommitted my life back to Christ. Almost immediately, I began reading the Bible and doing my devotions again. I started going to church. I started praying and asking God for godly friends or a Christian moms’ group. By the time our daughter came into the world the summer of 2005, I was a changed person and I’ve been growing closer to Christ ever since!
Did you notice that I didn't just wake up one morning and decide I wanted nothing to do with God? It happened little by little, slowly, until I made a conscious decision to turn my back on God. I love the reminder this song gives us...
"Slow Fade" by Casting Crowns
Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade
Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day
Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade
Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day
Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
No comments:
Post a Comment